Its the Story of The Shed.
We love our three-and-a-half acres here at Green Gully, but we bought it knowing that we'd have to build a shed, 'cos it aint got one, and "All Australian (and other race) boys (and other gendered persons) need a shed" (see end of page for link & lyrics).
We want a Big Shed, so planning permission & compliance with building regs will be necessary. After mulling the whole thing over for quite a few months, and working out where the incoming electricity feed for the house probably runs, we decide that it can't go up near the Munro Rd entrance, and would be better down where the original greenhouses were sited, as at least some of this area was levelled for them. Its where we put the first temporary-steel-and-placcy carport for the bike and 3-wheelers back in April 2008:
A year later, the vehicles were back up in the "real" carport, the roof of the 2nd temporary-steel-and-placcy carport/workshop next to the house had been ripped to shreds and replaced, and the walls of this one went the same way. It stayed there with a slowly decaying roof until Nov 09, when the view from the back garden looked like this:
Do you like our seasonal bushfire extra-water storage facility in the middle there? As part of our bushfire-survival plan, we regularly sit in it to make sure its still got water in it. Particularly when the temperature gets above 35, which its done quite a bit over the last 4 months. At this stage, David took over the project management of the Shed Story, because Jaynee was spending more time up at the hospital in Castlemaine. Here's a quick fast-forward from Nov 09 to Feb 10, looking from the same point:
...and here's how it happened:
David very sensibly employed a local building surveyor, who specialises in putting in the planning applications in such a way that they are more likely to be granted. Jaynee had found a large shed for a very good price (from the people that we bought the standard 6' x 3' tin shed from but didn't manage to put up back in May 08) but David has also lined up 2 local groundworkers, and one of them specialises in putting up sheds from another supplier. After a bit of argy bargy, that supplier agrees to supply us a 7m x 12m x 2.7m eaves height shed in colourbond steel, with 2 full-bay roller doors, a personal door, 2 windows and all guttering for about $10K. David finishes the planning drawings that Jaynee had started, gets all the shed specification info, registers himself as an owner builder, and the application goes in in October 09.
We get the go-ahead from the planning department just after Christmas, and book Colin and Gavin to start on site on the 14th Jan 2010. Colin will level the site and dig out the new driveways, then Gavin will lay the slab and erect the shed. Colin also gets to lay and "whack" the driveway gravel, dig the drainage channel at the front of the shed, and level a space between the shed and the dam for a 5000 gallon water tank. In fact, they both end up doing a few more odds and sods as well... David has already been busy with the chainsaw, taking out 3 dead trees. One of them leaves a massive triple stump, which he breaks his 4WD's winch cable on, and can only be moved by one of Colin's larger Tinker Toys.
Both David and Jaynee are a bit miffed that Colin doesn't leave the keys in any of his Tinker Toys overnight. Even though we thought the site for the shed itself was reasonably level, Colin has to bring in an amazing 20 lorry loads of soil to build it up, particularly as the driveway out the back needs to be at an angle not quite so close to that of the Eiger. Or Kosciosko. Catherine, who has a house down on Cemetary road, used to have a huge pile of leftover dirt ("spoil" is such a winning word) from her shed build, and is now very happy that we've relieved her of it.
Tamp down firmly, then dig some holes for the foundation pads. This is also a classic shot of David's famous "this will be the place for a village" John Batman impersonation (also see below).
Lay and smooth some grey "dust" (which helps in laying a smooth slab), then Colin hands over to Gavin, who puts the forms in then, shite and briny the next morning, supervises the pouring of 12 cubic metres of concrete for the slab of the main shed. That's 2 full mixer loads. An impressive bit of driving to get it round the jolly old corner on the second load, too.
Meanwhile, in a grrr-ish bit of timing, a mini-tornado blasts through and takes out the replacement roof on the 2nd carport/workshop. There's not much rain forecast for the next 2-3 weeks (which is when we're hoping the shed will be finished), so Jaynee refuses to buy another roof, and cobbles together some tarps.
The slab is ready to build on by the first week of Feb, so Gavin (who has been bolting bits of steel together in the comfort of his own shed) returns with wife Norelle and starts laying out the pieces of our expensive set of meccano pieces.Once he gets them looking like the front and rear (ie the long) walls, Jaynee, David and Norelle walk them upwards until they're vertical, and then Gavin bolts their bases to the slab, and props them with temporary diagonal braces. Your intrepid correspondent, of course, keeps dashing back to the house to take photos.
Here's the view from the top drive on the 15th Jan
and again on the 8th and 11th Feb, with the wall and roof sheets on
And finally, with doors, windows and guttering done, the residents move in
The last few jobs - levelling and laying "dust" for the new tank (which will sit between the shed and the large dam, so it can overrun into it if/when necessary), and fitting the barge boards (the only snag in the whole build, 'cos the wrong size was delivered, and needed to be replaced). Also, laying and "whacking" the driveway gravel, to provide a solid surface. Hmmm - another blast from the past - anyone else remember The Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band single "Wangaratta Wahine"? If you do, I hope you've got the lyrics running through your head in the same annoying way that I now have.
Now all we have to do is fit out the interior. After the shed-warming barby, of course.
Henry (James or Vincent, depending on who you talk to).
Even more important than the shed is the new addition to the family. Jaynee's sister Jo phoned back in November to pretty much ask if we could adopt a stray girl kitten that had turned up at their home in Glenroy. Their puss Kanga Kitty wouldn't countenance the kitten joining the Glenroy household, and it was basically going to be curtains for the kitten unless ... so we went and picked it up on the 23rd November, and hey presto, David has his own puss. This is how we were sucked in:
Well, David went ahead and named her Henry, after his favourite puss from a previous life, and Henry settled right in, twisting David very effectively around her littlest claw.
Then, during an expansive cuddle, we discovered that she was definitely (cue Shirley Bassey-style voice and backing track) not a girl called Henry. Henry is, in fact, a boy, and probably always was, unless David can do the whole ipsi namen magic power transformation thingy (sorry, just been reading the latest Dan Brown, and it reminded me of the much more entertaining Illuminatus trilogy). Henry James is obvious, but the Vincent reference comes from the rather splendid Black Shadow motorcycle made by Vincent HRD.
We spent a shorter Christmas down at Cape Paterson, as the idea of trying to take the caravan and all 3 cats was frankly a bit too much, and Henry was too little to leave by himself. And now, some arty beach photos:
The veggie patch has been upgraded to a veggie compound, with the addition of the steel frame from the ex-carport. The second photo shows that all those bits of chicken wire are actually doing the job of keeping the kangas and wallabies out. That's a black swamp wallaby looking in rather wistfully; very rare animals indeed, but still not allowed to munch on our veggies.
And now, the appendices.
John Williamson - The Shed
Hey, did you ever wake up in the morning
On the wrong side of the bed
A bit confused and yawning
You go straight out the back to your shed
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed
A place where he can go, somewhere to clear his head
To think about the things his woman said
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed
A joint to learn to read an' write, to work on his bike at night
To grow up as he likes, to grow anything under lights
A place to keep his tools, nuts and bolts and drills
To hang a hide, to hide the dry or hang to pay the bills
Well my old shed, she leaks a bit, the roof is caving in
Nothing that a bloke can't fix with a few spare sheets of tin
The beams are old telegraph poles, white ants have eaten them
She creaks and sways on windy days and leans towards the sound
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed
At the back of the shed where the dogs are fed near last year's bales of lucerne
Sticky tall green leaves came up from thrown out seeds
All it took was bantam poop, I watered 'em once and they grew some
They should be prime 'bout Easter time if no nosy neighbour steals 'em
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed
To weld up broken gates, a place for all his mates
To come 'round Sunday arvo' for a gin
A place to make a racket, to find the pipe and pack it
To think about the things his woman said
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed
Yeah, all Australian boys need a shed.
(John Williamson & R Dennett. Copyright lyrics Bug Music.)
Batmania
Oh, and by the way, did you know that "the village" had several
names before being called Melbourne? One of these was "Batville"...
another "Batmania"...
